Alone
by Andy Burris
Summary: The Winchester's are back home at the bunker after a trip to another reality, but Sam can't seem to find peace.


The Bad Place is not a somewhere anyone would choose to visit. Sam and Dean Winchester were accidently stranded there trying to mount a rescue mission. Thanks to their Wayward Sisters they were back where they belonged. Having arrived home in Kansas a couple hours earlier the brothers decided to try and get some rest. Unfortunately for Sam sleep is a friend that will not visit.

(Timeline: 13x11 Breakdown)

 **1:24 AM**

What the actual fuck? It's the middle of the night, we are actually home and my mind won't stop racing. We made it back. I was so sure it was over, but Dean wasn't. He just expected everything to work out somehow. There is so much more faith in him then he realizes. I think that's why he and Claire ended up connecting.

Oh Claire. That girl never stops amazing me. I still can't believe she found us. Man she has grown up to be such a strong woman. Jody really has been good for her. How I wish they didn't know this life. They deserve so much better than this. Claire deservers her parents. Jody deserves her husband and son. I'm just glad they have each other and Alex.

Alex, holy shit there's another tough one. All those years with the vamps and she still has so much concern for others. She doesn't pity herself and she uses her gifts to be such a strong care giver. I bet Claire gives her plenty of opportunity to practice. At least she can use real shit instead of dental floss and whiskey.

 **2:48 AM**

All these people I've failed. I just can't anymore. I'm supposed to just stand by while their lives go to shit? There has to be a way. There just has to be. I bet Bobby would know. It was just so weird talking with that other Bobby. If I had just been quicker our Bobby would still be here. He would have a plan. He always did. I miss that old man.

 **3:31 AM**

Jess I wish you were here. In your arms I always felt loved and safe. I should have told you truth. I should have been strong enough to let you go. There was no way I was ever getting a normal life. I'm cursed and have been my entire life. You deserved to be happy with someone who could be everything you deserved. It was selfish of me to bring you into this mess. Even still I would have been so proud to be your husband. Jess you were everything I could have every wanted.

 **4:47 AM**

Dad why did you raise us in this life? It wasn't fair to me and is sure as hell wasn't fair to Dean. He never got to be a kid. He is so brilliant, but doesn't believe it because of you. There is no way mom would have wanted this for us. I know she was raised a hunter, but she got out for a reason. Why did I let you drag me back into this? Dean blames himself, but it's your fault I'm back in this life. If you hadn't taken off I would have been there with Jess. We could have been happy dad and you took that away.

 **5:08 AM**

I had no right dragging you back into this Pamela. You said over and over you were done. Why didn't I listen? I know we were in a bind, but there's no excuse for my behavior. Pamela you had already given too much to help us. I hope you're still enjoying the music.

 **6:00 AM**

It feels like everyone who helps us dies. Jo shouldn't have been near that hell hound. She shouldn't have been in Carthage. Ellen was right to try and stop her. I can't even imagine how she felt. To see your child torn up like that. They saved us and being blown up was their reward. That is just so fucked up.

 **7:38 AM**

Kevin I'm so sorry man. As long as I live I will relive what I did to you. Gadreel may have been there, but I should have stopped him. I should have known something was wrong and taken back control. Your blood will always be on my hands.

 **8:22 AM**

 _KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

"Yo making pancakes. How many you want?"

Just go away dude. Not in the mood for pancakes. If I wanted something I would haul my ass to the kitchen. I wish I could just tell him 'I love you, but dude, back the fuck up.' He means well and I know he is just looking out for me, but I can only stand so much of it.

Damn how I miss you mom. You have a way of reaching Dean. I don't even think he realizes it. He is just so grateful to Amara for bringing you back to us. Oh how I could use your advice right about now. I really just don't know what to do. There has to be a way to fix this. There has to be a way to get you and Jack back.

Jack has so much good in him. He should have the chance to try things, explore the world, and not just be thrown into this fight. Kelly would have wanted so much more for him.

 **9:17 AM**

Charlie how I could use your wisdom. You're another dead because of me. I should have protected you. I shouldn't have ever asked you to go behind Dean's back. You could have been safe here at the bunker. I should have helped Cas keep Rowena in check. He should never have had to shoulder that alone. I failed you both. So much blood. Fuck, Charlie I'm sorry. You will always be my sister.

 **9:55 AM**

Eileen I know you would have loved it here. I could have seen you as a Woman of Letters. You and Charlie would have hit it off and been tearing through every lore book we have in the library. And just maybe we could have seen what happened with us. I think you felt the same way, but we'll never know. I'm so sorry we didn't find you in time. Had we just checked the box the day before you might still be here with me. Everyone I love gets hurt. If you had never met me you might still be here fighting and kicking it in the ass. You will always be my Celtic beauty.

 **10:00 AM**

 _PHONE VIBRATES_

Now what? Donna? Hope everything is alright.

"Donna what's going on?"


End file.
